Age

There was no part of being an Immortal that was purely good. Every silver lining had its cloud. Their quick healing led to them often being rejected from wherever they made their homes, or killed- sometimes even tortured. Their long lifelines just led to grief, loss, and survivor's guilt. Their memories, sharper, clearer, and without loss, meant they remembered everything. It was a blessing for the good memories. Their oldest memory was as fresh as the day it was made. If they wanted to, they could relive their happiest memories on a daily basis, but it was impossible to live as long as Immortals did and only have good memories. They couldn't forget even their most tedious memories, or their most traumatic, and the worst of them had a habit of resurfacing when they were least wanted.

Xander remembered, as if they had happened only yesterday, every moment of his life. He remembered the yellow crayon incident and Buffy coming to town. He remembered the dinosaurs and the first mammals and Amy the rat. He remembered hunting for food, for survival, to save the lives of innocents. He remembered Jesse. He remembered the True Demons.

What he didn't remember was being young. He didn't remember what it had felt like to live in a world where he wasn't the oldest person alive. He didn't remember what it was like to be inexperienced, or naïve, or bad at fighting. He had the memories, but somewhere along the way, those feelings had vanished, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't remember what they had felt like. He'd forgotten what it felt like to be young.

[Edited 1/25/2010]