Somehow, the original Stargate translation team manages to open the "Doorway to heaven" without Daniel, and avoid killing the Abydonians (AKA, everything goes more or less the way it did in canon, but with even more translation problems--maybe the military people are really good at Charades, or something). And then they head out into the galaxy to fight the Goa'uld, but with tons of comedy moments because their translators aren't Daniel, or even Daniel-trained.

Semi!sentient Hogwarts realizes that they're at war and vulnerable. To increase security, she starts requiring passwords to be changed every 90 days and contain at least one number, one capital letter, and one lowercase letter, and be at least 8 characters long.

Some time after they've parted on bad terms, Duncan finds one of Methos's old diaries. Remembering how many times Methos had intruded on him and trying to get a petty little bit of revenge, he sets about trying to read the diary. It's not as easy as it sounds: Methos switches between languages when he feels like it (and engages in polyglottal wordplay along the way), and Duncan doesn't know most of them, so he has to go out and learn them. Well...it's not like he doesn't have time, so that's what he does for a few lifetimes (and ends up making a reputation for himself). And when he can translate enough of it, he finds that the diary is essentially a list of Methos's regrets. Many of them are cryptic to Duncan, because Methos doesn't need to describe the whole situation to himself, and Duncan doesn't recognize what referents Methos did write down. Others are multi-page rants/essays. Some of them, Duncan can figure out that they're fictional; others, he knew enough beforehand to know that they're real.

Whichever Highlander movie in which they're aliens, but Methos won the Game, not Connor. Which is a bit more interesting now that I think about it: he'd still create the Dome, because he wants to keep Earth habitable, but other than that...I can't really see Methos being all "yay! Now I'll grow old!" as his Prize. So he'd still be young, and he'd still be living, and maybe a part of that group who broke in to check on the ozone...

Atlantis University thinkiness

They go in thinking that it'll be a long time before contact is reestablished, and act accordingly. Which means that from the beginning they know that they need more than just the expedition members and relatively easily combine with the Athosians. Politics means that not only the scientists are from multiple countries, the military are too. To simplify things a little bit, they rename the mass of them (so they're not marines or air force anymore) and make them do lots of training together to make sure they have skills and can understand each other (English speaking is a requirement, but depending on a foreign language in the middle of a battle? Best not to do it without lots of practice) which also helps clarify the chain of command and find personality clashes. Scientists do at least some training with the military, and stay at the same place with them for the duration of the long training even though theirs is shorter, to find issues *there*.

Shawn Spencer is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. So when Lassiter misinterprets one of his visions/antics as a come-on and accepts, he goes with the flow. And he's used to relationships collapsing, getting dumped after a few weeks; so much so, that he's extremely confused when Lassiter doesn't break up with him, and doesn't break up with him, and doesn't break up with him...until Shawn finally gets used to it. And then he does. And Shawn has to figure out how to win him back, when he's only just realized what he had.

Muggleborns are quietly fed love potions targeted at purebloods and halfbloods, until they have their first pureblood child. By that point, the love potion has long-lasting effects on most of the muggleborns. For those who break free, they can get a divorce...but their spouse would basically get to keep everything, because a muggleborn is obviously less capable, etc. And the wizarding world hates divorce, so good luck finding or keeping a job in the wizarding world as the muggleborn instigator of a divorce.

Girl!Dexter. Her gender is just another reason Harry adopts her, but despite the statistics she still becomes a serial killer.

Although they're all adult and responsible now, Hermione's parents were the pranksters of their school growing up, and to be honest they're a bit disappointed that Hermione's so rule-abiding. But then she's falsely accused of a prank (or her parents think she's pulled off a prank, anyway), and instead of blowing up at her they're proud of her.

You know what plotline would translate well into the Harry Potter-verse? Oedipus Rex. There's a prophecy that he'll kill his dad and marry his mom (or maybe sister), so they curse him and abandon him in the muggle world. His dad...is a Death Eater, maybe? The wizarding world doesn't have the "marry wife of dead king to become the king" thing, though, so that'd have to be fiddled with. Maybe with the marriage law trope?

Of course Methos recognizes Andrew Wiggin as Ender--he's certainly got enough experience to recognize children once they've grown up. But whatever the Speaker for the Dead wrote, and whatever orders Congress gives him, he was on Earth throughout the war, and he won't do anything against the man who ended it.

(I guess he's captain of a ship that was at the planet when Ender got in trouble...gah, it's been so long since I've reread that I don't remember exactly how it went)

Halfway through Fred and George's first year, the Hogwarts professors got together and collectively decided to evaluate their performance not on their schoolwork, because they were deliberately doing worse on it than their pranks showed that they were, but rather on their pranks. And also they started pranking the twins, so inspire them to higher levels of competency and teach them new things (because they'd research everything that was done to them).

From a dream I had. Jane and his wife were Immortals in a world where immortality was known to the world. There's some sort of drug for Immortals that suppresses the buzz and I think makes it look like they heal at a normal speed, although they still heal quickly from anything too bad. Mortals *really* prefer for Immortals to take the drug [but why?], and a lot of them do, but any Immortal who's been around for a while is pretty creeped out by the buzz thing. Not sure whether Jane and Mrs. Jane took the drugs before, but he definitely doesn't afterwards.

Maybe the drug makes it possible (though not easy) for them to have children?

New Experiences

Methos slouched a bit deeper on his couch. What more could he ask for, than a good beer and a book he hadn't read yet? Maybe it wasn't what most people would agree was good literature...okay, that was a bit of an understatement: it was the literary equivalent of Plan 9 From Outer Space, without a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode dedicated to it. But he had a certain irrational fondness for such literary ephemera; some day not too far in the future, he would be the only person who remembered it, the same as he'd be the only person who remembered the mortals he met. Good, bad, or indifferent, he loved all of them, even the ones he didn't particularly like.

The ability to genuinely like life and everything about it was, he was convinced, the most important thing for living as long as Immortals could. He couldn't count Cassandra as truly living, merely surviving, and the rest of the Immortals with multiple millennia under their belts enjoyed the world and their lives, even if it wasn't necessarily in a way that others approved of. Today Methos was enjoying a book and a beer. Tomorrow...who knew what he'd be enjoying? There was a whole world full of possibilities out there.

Tap. Tap. Taptap. Normally he wouldn't have taken any notice of the sound, having lived in a number of houses with trees close enough to tap on the windows (or, more often, the walls). But this house didn't have any trees around it. He looked up and had to wonder if his beer had gone bad, because there in broad daylight was an owl, looking at him as if it was a cat that had decided that it was time to come inside and was wondering why he hadn't read its mind and already opened the door—or in this case, window. He decided to indulge its odd behavior. This was just a vacation house; nothing in it was important enough for him to care if an owl destroyed it.
Methos opened the window with all the reverence due to any animal that acted like a cat. To his amusement, the owl took it as its due and flew in to land neatly on the back of one of the kitchen chairs before it raised one of its legs towards him, displaying what looked like a scroll of paper.

A messenger owl? Now he really had seen everything. He wasn't sure he would have braved the talons and beak if he'd been mortal—but then, if he'd been mortal, he likely wouldn't have ever seen an owl tear apart its prey before, and developed a healthy respect for its destructive capability. But he was Immortal, so the worst he had to worry about was a few years spent growing back a finger or two. And the owl did seem docile, or at least domesticated. He took the scroll without incident. It unrolled a bit once it wasn't tied anymore, and he saw that it wasn't a scroll, but an envelope.

Mr A. Pierson
The Yellow Room
19 North Hill Road
Swansea

The address probably should have made Methos feel like somebody was watching him—the house has three bedrooms; how did the person who addressed the letter know which one he was staying in this time?—but the owl accomplished that just fine on his own, with the way it was staring at him. Right...it was a cat in the body of an owl, which had somehow been convinced to deliver mail.

"Would you like something to eat?" he asked. "I believe I have some dormice." The owl sat up straighter and, if it was even possible, stared at him even harder. He pulled out the cage of mice, already mourning their loss. And he'd just re-found the recipe, too...

With the owl happily engaged, he turned his attention to the letter. Parchment wasn't something that was used much these days. Green ink, an owl...the plot thickened. He cracked open the wax seal and read the letter.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr Pierson,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

A grin spread across Methos's face as excitement grew within him. Here was something he'd never done before, or even heard of. Magic school! He could hardly wait.

Unknown to Lily, Petunia, Vernon, or Marge, Lily was adopted into the Evans family from the Dursley family as a baby. When Harry's young, Vernon finds out and that changes things because yeah, Harry's a freak, but he's a Dursley, and family is everything to Dursleys.

Clan MacLeod-Anne 1

Anne should be at the hospital, she knew. The situation out there was sure to be bad and getting worse, and that meant that the hospitals needed every pair of hands they could get, before their ability to do much good went away. Sure, the medicine would still be good after the apocalypse, and many of the diagnostic methods didn't depend upon electronics, but how many of those medicines were made locally, without machines being involved in the process? It wouldn't be the dark ages, or even the 1800s, but still, doctors wouldn't be much good after their supplies were gone.

But she could do good now, she knew that. She could save lives that were in danger now, not at some theoretical future time. But she felt frozen, unable to do anything, even leave the house for a few hours. She'd held Mary until she'd gotten bored and squirmed away to go and play, aware of what was happening but not yet old enough to be interested in "boring adult stuff" for long. But while Mary might not be having a problem (yet), Anne wasn't handling the news well. How could she? She didn't have the first idea of how to handle even the knowledge, much less the situation itself.

The phone rang, and she almost jumped at the sound. "Hello?" she said tentatively.

"Anne."

"Duncan!" she exclaimed, tears prickling at her eyes. "Oh, thank God. Thank God." There'd been a time in her life when she'd sworn that she'd never act like this, like a woman in a romance novel, dependent on a man for everything as if she couldn't do anything for herself. But already she couldn't handle the new world, and it wasn't even here yet. And Duncan was four hundred years old; he'd know what to do.

"Anne," he said, "I need you to calm down. It's not as bad as you think it is." He sounds so confident of that fact that she's pulled upright by the force of his voice, the tears drying on her cheeks. "We have a plan. Here's what I need you to do…"

Clan MacLeod: Joe 1

Seven days. That's all they get to prepare for the apocalypse.

Maybe that sounds overly dramatic. After all, the world will still be there, and all the people on it. They even know about it in advance, so nobody's going to die when their plane loses all power. But all their electronics, everything that makes the modern world so modern—that's all going to be useless, fried by Earth's own electromagnetic field.

The science is out there for anybody who really wants to know. But there's only a week left before the apocalypse, and most people have better things to care about than science.

The Watchers are, fortunately, better-prepared for this than most other organizations. Until very recently, being out of contact for years at a stretch wasn't just common, it had been the norm, and even in the 21st century they weren't always able to remain in constant contact. Thank God for slow-moving bureaucracy; every Watcher still knows the traditional protocols for acting on their own, although they're sending out a refresher email just to be sure that nobody's forgotten anything since they went to the Academy. The Diaries are, of course, always written first on paper; they'll be safe from this disaster.

Joe's spending his last days of phone and internet making contact with the Watchers he's in charge of, making sure that they know where their nearest coworkers are. He may still nominally be in charge of North America, but from now on everybody's going to have to do a lot more for themselves.

Duncan, Amanda, and Adam have a plan. He doesn't know what it is, and normally that'd have him worried; he's seen their plans in the past. But this time? This time he'll trust them, without a single question. Adam ferreted away the Diaries with six days left until the apocalypse. Amanda brings large crates to the bar, where they're loaded onto a semi for Duncan to drive into the night.

All three of them act like the bar's a stop on the Underground Railroad, constantly bringing people in until sending them to their next destination. Joe recognizes some of them: people that at least one of the three likes, or at least doesn't hate outright.

Already, the city's mood is turning nasty. There's no food left in the stores, and often not much of anything else, either: whether it'll be useful, or somebody just wants one before there aren't any left, everything manufactured is a hot commodity. Once the transportation's gone, there won't be any way to survive in the city, and everybody there knows it.

The Immortals haven't tried to talk him into leaving; in fact, haven't said much to him at all, always busy with their plan. It makes him wonder: after all, they're taking all of their other friends and acquaintances out of the city, taking them away from all of this to protect them. But even Mac hasn't tried to talk him into leaving.

It's easy to fall into despair when the world's ending and you know it. And not only was the world ending, but Joe was all alone most of the time, with the Immortals having abandoned him to work on their plan and save others. Maybe he wasn't as good a friend to them as he'd thought, if they'd save casual acquaintances before him. Maybe they were doing the smart thing and not wasting their scarce resources on a cripple—what good would he be to them, anyway? Even if he could hobble around now, his legs wouldn't last forever, and somehow he didn't think that making things wheelchair accessible would be a priority, after the apocalypse.

Time slipped through his hands like water, as he devoted himself to what will no doubt be his last deeds on this world. He won't be there, not for anybody; the least he could do was make sure that his last actions would do somebody some good.

It was the last day before the Immortals finally come to tell him that they were leaving him behind. He should feel insulted that they thought that he was stupid enough that he hadn't caught on yet, but he couldn't manage to gather enough energy or ill-will to make the last words he speaks to his friends be harsh ones.

"Joe…" Amanda said. "We have to leave now if we don't want to have to walk part of the way."

Joe started to say something, but Duncan was faster than he was. "We've packed all of your belongings already, so all we need is you."

"And yes, I found your hiding place," Adam chimed in.

It took a moment for that to sink in. "I thought you were leaving me behind," he confessed.

"Why would you think that?" Duncan asked, genuine confusion in his voice.

"None of you have said more than two words to me this past week, about your plans or otherwise. You've been moving people through here like it's Grand Central, and haven't said word one to me about leaving. And with these legs…"

"Joe," Adam said, "you are more than just your legs. We didn't have to think twice about you coming, because you're our friend and because you're a valuable resource. We didn't say anything to you because we respect the work you've been doing, and thought that you already knew that you were coming."

It should be a crime to feel this good with the apocalypse less than 12 hours away, but what could go wrong, living in a post-apocalyptic community led by the three of them? He smiled and planted his legs and cane firmly on the ground. "All right, what are we waiting for?" They left the bar and didn't look back.

In his free time, Anderson is a superhero (I'm thinking a Superman analogue, but whatever floats your boat), which naturally makes him sleep-deprived and distracted, and maybe it's hard for him to tell what humans can and can't see/notice. Sherlock knows he's a superhero, but doesn't see that as an excuse or even a reason for his behavior. He doesn't say anything about it because it's so obvious that it's boring--Anderson doesn't even wear a mask, for crying out loud! ...Nobody else realizes that Anderson's the superhero.

Worst-case scenario for a sex pollen type scenario: it's not a pollen, but a virus which mutates very rapidly, so it can be caught again and no cure can be developed. And it gets transmitted as easily as the common cold, maybe has an incubation or contagious but no symptoms period. Obviously would require lots of research about disease transmission.

Back in the day, Methos was Egeria's host and the catalyst for her change of heart. Post-Horsemen, even though that means changing the date that they rode, so he knows the temptation and appeal of power and has gotten over it. So they Tok'Ra around for a while, then get caught, Methos "killed", Egeria imprisoned. Fast forward to the present; for some reason, Methos is with SG-1 when they find Egeria.

Dexter Peggy Sue: Dexter wakes up back as a child/teenager (before Harry died), with all of his experience with life and killing. Not to mention years of seeing and getting advice from hallucination!Harry, which doubtless does not match up entirely with what real!Harry would say. And experience pretending to be a normal person. And, you know, the fact that killing animals won't cut it anymore.

In the myth of Er, Odysseus decides to become reincarnated as an ordinary person. So...what if that ordinary person is John Watson?

So, one day God says to Joan, "I need you to change your name/get a really good fake ID and go to Miami." The name on her ID is Lumen Pierce.

Methos was in Grantville when the ring of fire happened, either with or without the others (this could be done with almost any immortal, but if I did it I'd do it with Methos; Duncan would be less interesting because in 1632 he was still a baby Immortal...okay, that might be interesting, too). And he knows that younger!Methos is going to come to Grantville, as well as probably a shitload of other immortals, because it's interesting and completely new. But what's he going to do, leave the only real civilization that exists?

Sometime before he meets John, one of sherlock's experiments goes horribly wrong and now he's a zombie. Those body parts? Not (just) for experiments. And he doesn't eat a lot of normal food because it does nothing for him. Nobody knows except Mycroft. But then, somebody finds evidence that he eats the body parts.

Theseus runs around, defeating bad guys by turning their own tricks back on them. So does Jarod. So...what if Theseus was a Pretender?

So, I just read a very short X-Men/Highlander crossover where Joe was a mutant. Which would be really interesting to explore more in-depth.

Admittance to Hogwarts is technically based not on age, but on some whacky magic milestone. It's just that, because its students have all been human, that milestone happens at 11 for all of them. For Immortals it happens after 5000+ years. Methos gets an invitation to Hogwarts, and decides to go because it's something new.

The Marauders' Map is a horcrux of its creators.

The Leverage crew all got killed in the pilot, but they all stuck around as ghosts and don't realize that they're dead. And they're so awesome at acting that they fool everybody, even though normally it takes decades for ghosts to figure out how to affect the physical world or be visible.

And then the Winchesters figure it out.

When Kal-El landed on Earth as a baby, the Kents somehow got Kryptonian powers and the instinctual knowledge of how to use them. Although it's interesting to contemplate how things might be different in the big picture when his powers aren't a unique thing, but rather a family thing, I'm more interested in a random domestic scene where they all...heat up their tea with laser vision, or something, extremely casual about it

Variation on an earlier idea:

After the most recent fun with thieves disguised as terrorists (which could be any of the movies! :D), John McClane gets a new partner. He keeps getting stuck with the undesirables because nobody else can handle his crazy, so it's not really a surprise that he gets stuck with the new guy...who just moved to New York from the UK. How much of the city will be destroyed in the name of saving lives before John McClane and Harry Potter get split up?

Starfleet Academy (well, technically, everybody, but only SFA or possibly just the students remembers it) gets caught in a time loop before all the craziness. Things, um, get a little bit crazy. Especially since it's one of their emergency simulation days and Kirk's in charge.

I've never seen Joan of Arcadia, but I'm pretty sure that she was a nice and normal girl before god started talking to her. What if she wasn't? What if she was more like Dexter, only faking being normal, and holding off on her darker impulses as long as she could because if she could love anybody, she'd love her family?

Somehow, Luke and Leia ended up getting raised by Han (er, might need some age juggling, there) and Chewbacca. And then, they give Ben Kenobi a ride...

Harry Potter isn't the only new student at Hogwarts who was left with relatives as a baby--Luke Skywalker was, too. In the Star Wars universe, not ours; Hogwarts serves only Tatooine.

One of the Highlander characters on Pandora or as a red shirt, getting killed over and over and over again but with no place else to go even if they desert or whatever. Comedy.

Terry being Bruce Wayne's assistant is just a cover story, but this is Bruce Wayne we're talking about; do you really think he doesn't expect Terry to actually do what he's expected to do? Yeah, Bruce covers for him sometimes, does the job instead when nobody else can see, but if he creates the cover story of grooming Terry to take over then he's damn well expecting Terry to learn how to do so. So Terry has to go to meetings and stuff, and take on ever-increasing responsibilities there as well.

I read this summary of a Criminal Minds/Big Bang Theory crossover: "Gideon recruited a different genius to the BAU, and nobody is particularly happy about it." I don't know BBT, but there are so many interesting geniuses that could have been (possibly minus that last part). Personally, I favor Shawn Spencer (who could be interesting in the changes to him from working that kind of case, as well as differences from canon--AU, or preseries with a later 'BAU comes to Santa Barbara' plot). But, since I haven't watched Criminal Minds...*shrugs*

The more you practice magic, the more you have to use it. So...there's somebody who has to use magic. Normally it's not a problem; they just use it for little things throughout the day, most of them not anything that would be noticed even by somebody looking right at them. But then there's something tha prevents them from doing magic: a curse, or they're trapped in a warded house, or something. They're not alone. And because they can't use magic, it builds up in them. The first side effects are small, easily ignored, usually a sign to use magic. Later, they start acting like they're on drugs. If it goes on long enough they'll die.

Sentinels are (and perhaps always have been) known to the public. John Watson awakened as a Sentinel while he was in the Army, where they take a very military approach to things (which is more than a little bit different from things for civilians); he's never experienced life as a civilian Sentinel until he's discharged. His therapist thinks his limp is because he's so traumatized by the death of his Guide. John never told anybody that he never really saw the point of a Guide, since he was so new to being a Sentinel; all of the Sentinel experts insisted that all Sentinels needed a Guide. Just because his Guide never really seemed to do a thing for him (not that the guy was incompetent or anything; he just felt the same with or without the Guide) didn't mean John knew everything. Maybe it was just a subtler effect than he'd been told that it was; after all, he'd never really had any problem with zoning, but maybe that was because he got hooked up with the Guide right away. And certainly, after he returned to London he started to have problems with zoning.

Sherlock refuses to believe that Sentinels need Guides, and from the first day sets out to prove it to John. (Either he's just a normal person or he's a Sentinel who couldn't take a normal job if he wanted to because he doesn't have a Guide...I think I prefer the normal person).

Once John is in "London is a battlefield" mode, his zoning problems disappear completely. Most people don't realize that he's a Sentinel, because he doesn't do obviously Sentinel things like zoning or having a Guide going everywhere with him. Lestrade and Co. realize, because at the first crime scene (and all subsequent ones) Sherlock has no problem ordering him to use his senses. People who do know keep taking him and Sherlock for a Sentinel/Guide pair, to which they keep going "um, no"; Sherlock doesn't have the Guide genes at all, and even if he did he'd be the worst Guide ever.

John can't get a job (at least as a doctor...nobody would care if he was trying to become a janitor or something, but there's liability involved if he zones out during something important) unless he has a Guide. John really doesn't want to put Sherlock down (and there's nobody else he can put down), but if he doesn't he won't be able to get a job. He gets really irritated at that and other ways that civilian Sentinels are treated; he has his senses under control, he doesn't need to be treated like he's going to break if he does things like a normal person. Sherlock treats him like a normal person, which is awesome even if Sherlock's usual way of treating normal people leaves something to be desired.

Sherlock is NOT John's Guide, and he's totally right about (some) Sentinels not needing a Guide.

Methos moves on to his next life, deciding he wants to be a tailor again, and starts up his business somewhere close to some community of mutants. Slowly word gets out to the mutant community that he's good, professional, cheap, and discreet. On the side he teaches a few mutants how to make alterations that aren't covered in sewing books. And then, without warning, he disappears, and the next time anybody sees him he's "Sgt. Lyman".

Harry Potter was raised (with great difficulty) by dragons. No, not around dragons, or by dragon keepers. By dragons. Who are sentient, intelligent, and baffled by humans, but know that, as Harry is a human, they need to raise him in a humanish way: clothes (before he can dress himself, it's very difficult for them, and since he doesn't see other humans except from a distance, his clothes are weird), teaching him human skills (they're not sure which ones are important, so they teach what they've observed and whatever they have books about, and some of it's inaccurate or rare, and they miss some major things), etc. And then, when he turns 11, he goes to Hogwarts.

Okay, so I just read In the Dark (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6373793/8/Toil_and_trouble), and now I kind of want to write something along those lines but extended--starting back in the HP'verse, year 4 when Harry and the horntail met, show how it went AU, and then follow it into the Temeraire verse. But the research...!

Gryffindor!Snape

Before they go through 7 years of being stereotyped for their House while attending Hogwarts, witches/wizards are a lot more balanced. Snape was no exception (as a character who approximates a normal human, you can see elements of all four houses in him even in canon). He wanted to be in Slytherin like his mom, and didn't want to be anywhere near Potter & Black after meeting them before getting to Hogwarts, but the Hat disregarded that and stuck him in Gryffindor anyway, where he was even less able to escape from his tormentors than in canon--thus, he still gets pushed towards joining the DEs, because the smarter, more Slytherin ones realize that they can use him--he's already inventing spells and potions while he's still in school, after all.

But how does being a Gryffindor change him? On the one hand, changing Houses is a pretty big thing; on the other, he's pretty much dead set against having anything in common with the Marauders.

Simba grew up, ruled the Pride, yada yada...and then later he somehow became Aslan. Support:

• Simba and Aslan are both of the Jesus archetype
• both have a noncorporeal father that they talk to
• lions
• both rule over assorted animals, not just lions

The apocalypse comes, and it's even worse than a lot of people are expecting because, hey, in the real world all of the fruit and vegetable plants they sell (including, or perhaps especially, those sold to commercial farmers) are designed to be sterile--as in, after the crop that's currently in the ground gets harvested, if there isn't any more seed to be bought then we're not going to have anything to live off of other than domestic animals and whatever we can find out in the wild.

Wizards cosplaying muggles.

Immortals can only sense pre-Immortals if they have a certain degree of compatibility. So, for instance, if Duncan had been holding some sort of Immortal party when Richie dropped by, only two or three of them would have been able to sense him. This pre-Immortal sense also draws at least one compatible close when it's close to the time for the pre-Immortal's first death. Of course, even with some amount of compatibility, it doesn't always work out well, and after the first death there's nothing to say who's compatible or not, so it's a bit of a crapshoot, but at least there's more of a chance and unscrupulous Immortals can't go around finding all of the pre-Immortals, killing them, and taking their heads.

AU: Buffy is not a cheerleader-type person. Instead, she's a straight-A nerd who is interested in moldy bookage in its own right, not just as a means to saving lives. She may or may not play on the "dumb blonde" image like in canon with people who aren't her close friends, but her in-group won't take long to realize what a nerd she is.

After the apocalypse, most people are freaking out and running in circles like chickens with their heads cut off. Most Immortals don't freak out, just immediately start doing what they know has to be done. Preferably from the POV of Richie or an OC (Richie might be best...or a rotating POV) for contrast.

Mulan & co. get bored of being ancestors, so they recorporealize in the modern day. (which, of course, takes away all of the fun issues of Mulan)

Would preferably involve a lot of annoying the descendants, both on purpose and on accident.

(Hmm, I guess I could do the last part in the Dinosaur verse...suddenly, Mulan shows up at the house of the descendants of one of her adopted kids/one of her friends' descendants. And proceeds to annoy the shit out of them, who are used to thinking of her as an honored ancestor/honorary ancestor.)

Potions Conference

Severus frowned as he surveyed the crowd at the annual International Potions Masters' Guild Conference. Not that he'd be making any other expression anyway, as he would rather be any other place if the Conference wasn't the best (and nearly only) place to learn about the latest potions research, but he had more of a reason to frown this year than in years past.

The Guild had always been more than a little bit of a boys' club, not only because of tradition. The fact of the matter was that the Guildhall was considered a territory of its own, not subject to the laws of any country including the one it was located in. As a potions guild, there was explicitly no limit to what was allowed to be done with potions in the Hall, and pranking was only the least of it. Even the muggles had figured out how to drug a woman to rape her, and the Guild had a tendency to attract the kind of people who had no compunctions about doing that or worse, at least as long as there would be no punishment for it.

Women were targets within the Hall, and every girl who showed much promise in potions knew it. Some few of them braved the Hall to attend the Conference for the three days required to attain their Mastery, but even at his young age Severus had lost track of the number of women who he had seen give up on their dreams and settled for being no-name brewers despite their talent. It didn't matter that he didn't know the woman or that he wasn't a Gryffindor, he'd seen enough people treated as nobody should be in his life. If a warning could save her that, at least he'd be able to do something this time.

She had a drink in her hand already, apparently failing to notice the wide berth that everybody else was giving the provided food and drinks.  Severus hadn't thought that there was anybody who was stupid enough as to not bring their own nourishment—it would still get potioned, but at least it was potioned less that way. She must not have been warned. In a way, that was good; if she wasn't prepared for the dangers, she'd be easier to convince to leave before she got hurt.

As if she'd heard him thinking, or somehow felt him approaching from halfway across the room in the crowd, the woman turned and looked him in the eye. With black, curly hair framing a pretty face that couldn't be older than eighteen, with wide blue eyes, she was in more danger than he'd thought. It would have been bad enough if she'd been hideous, but as it was Severus doubted there'd be more than three people at this conference who wouldn't be targeting her.

"What exactly," he said scathingly, "possessed you to do something so stupid as to come to this conference?"

She widened her eyes in what could almost be passed off as innocence, but Severus had learned the difference between false innocence and the real thing long before he'd begun his teaching career. "What do you mean? I have to attend this conference and present independent research before I can be certified as a Potions Master."

"You know perfectly well what I mean," Severus almost growled, but was careful to keep from showing anything other than his usual demeanor. Even if he could convince the idiot to leave, he'd have to stay, and the best way to make things bad for himself was to piss off the rest of the Potions Masters.

"I-" Before she could finish, a man 'tripped' and spilled the contents of his goblet on her.

Severus winced internally, waiting for the potion to take effect, but the only effects were on the man who tripped. Severus could have sworn he hadn't gotten any of the potion on himself, but he started acting as if he had. A strong confusion and lust potion, obviously, Severus thought, seeing the man writhe on the floor until some opportunist led him off.

"As I was saying," the woman said calmly, dabbing a potion onto where she'd gotten splashed, "I can take care of myself. JJ Sheppard-McKay; call me JJ."

Severus clasped her outstretched hand; it was early to tell, but it seemed at least possible that she would survive the conference, now. "Snape."

Her face lit up. "Severus Snape? Oh, this is so great! I read your paper on aconite interactions, and it sparked off a couple of ideas in my head."

Severus arched an eyebrow; the Potions journals were restricted, with spells that no few people had unsuccessfully tried to break, to being read by Potions Masters only.

Not realizing (or, possibly, not caring) why Severus had raised his brow, the woman continued.  " I think that I'm about a third of the way to figuring out how to allow werewolves to remain in control at the full moon, thanks to your research."

Severus snapped from vague amusement at the woman to sharp interest in what she was saying. "What did you say?"

"I still have no idea how to actually cure them—and that would bring up certain ethical issues that I really don't want to have to deal with, anyway—but I really do think I'm on the right track. And given your research, I think that we could do it faster if we worked together."

Merlin knew that there had been enough half-cracked werewolf cure ideas already, none of which had panned out, but if there was even half a chance that she was right, the faster it was accomplished the better, in his opinion. Much as he hated to give any of Potter's group any credit, even he had to admit that the wolf wouldn't have tried to attack him if he had still been human in there. "Tell me more," he ordered.

In alternate-history Kansas, all of the fields have hedgerows around them. (because in our world there are trees, and they're there for windblocks, right? So why not hedgerows?)

There's a something which is a huge danger because to trap its prey/victims it creates a perfect representation of a place that feels safe & happy to them, with something to help make them believe it. It works better with people who feel very safe most of the time, but almost everybody has a place where they feel safe or that they can be convinced to feel safe in. Naturally distrustful people and people who have learned to be distrustful can pick up the minor glitches within a few hours, when something pings their memory wrong and they start pulling threads and unravel it. So, if you knew this all, and then you saw somebody get whammied and barely pause for a second...wow, must suck to be them.

House elves invented LOLcats.

Nicholas and Perenelle Flamel were targets for most of their lives because of the Stone; it might make them unaging and immune to nearly everything else, but there were still a few ways they could be killed. So whenever they got sick of it, they did their own little witness protection program and set themselves up as new Hogwarts students. This time around, they chose to be James Potter and Lily Evans (which...needs an explanation for Petunia. Still a relative, maybe, but not a sister.). But somewhere along the way, Dumbledore learned who they were, and either set them up or just capitalized on their deaths to steal the stone.

It's not that Dumbledore sends Harry back to the Dursleys' and modifying memories every time he runs away or gets taken away by social services--it's the wards (which may or may not have been created or altered by Dumbledore in the name of the greater good/Harry's safety from kidnappers). But if the wards are doing it, they're not exactly going to stop when it's time for Harry to go to Hogwarts, are they?

Some form of entertainment, written as if it was by aliens, for aliens from the same culture. So, for instance, if they were writing their version of Stargate SG-1, all of the references to the Simpsons, mythology, etc. would be explained to the exact same degree that they are in canon!SG-1. And maybe idioms would be different, too, depending on how far you want to go with it.

Ronon was really, really young when he first became a Runner--still a child. But every time the Wraith caught him, they took a little sip from his life, and now he's not a child anymore.

It starts out being written like the MC's a latchkey kid: she gets herself up and prepared for school in the mornings, makes her own food (or has it prepared for her, so she just has to reheat it/take it to school), the house always seems to be empty except for her. Maybe there are occasional notes to her. But eventually it becomes apparent that she isn't living with any adult--maybe with a ghost (not, I think, a family member)? While she's on the verge of sleep she could her it then, and give further evidence to the "not squatting in the house" misleading. Not as the main plot, because she knows about her circumstances so it's not a mystery, but as an around-the-edges thing: she goes off every day having her adventure, and comes home to this empty house and loving notes. Maybe it affects how she acts, like she absolutely insists on being home by a certain time, and the reader is very confused about why until she comes home late one day and the walls are bleeding or something.

Hm, might be fun to do it as a coming of age thing, and/or if she gradually realized that their relationship was abusive and successfully managed to get the ghost to change.

While Ronon is a Runner, he goes to a world that he knows is deserted, one that's known as a Runners' World, and is horrified to find a kid there: deaged Xander, who can't or won't speak for whatever reason. Ronon tries to send him to/drop him off at an inhabited world, but he won't go, just follows Ronon around and occasionally kicks wraith ass. And refuses to leave his axe behind even though he can barely lift it.

Somehow, Hermione and Luna meet before Hogwarts. And Luna has all sorts of books with proof that all of her creatures exist, so of course Hermione is convinced...

Supernatural/Pride and Prejudice, although with only P & P characters and OCs (and, I guess some of the longer-lived Supernatural characters, just not any of the humans). Set in/around P & P times. The reflex might be to do it as an AU, but I think I personally prefer it not to be.

Elizabeth Bennett (or Darcy) is a BAMF Hunter, eventually almost a legend, despite...well, everything. Mostly gender. How did she get into Hunting? How did she get to be so good? How do her interactions with other Hunters go? What's her life like?

Crazy alternate universe, where males can only reproduce with males and females can only reproduce with females, but either pairing can produce children of either gender; this pattern extends to any species which does not reproduce asexually. Give careful consideration to social changes--e.g., like IRL each couple would need at least one partner to work to support them, back through history, so gender discrimination is not going to have ever been like it is or was here; also, everybody is gay is the only thing that makes sense here.

Protagonists are a straight couple in the modern day, extremely aware of how lucky they are to be living in a time when it's legal and to some degree accepted for them to be together and hoping that someday soon it will be legal for them to get married.

In TV, books, and movies, it seems like every detective/PI/cop deals with the big crimes--murder, rape, art theft, etc. So what about one that's about cops/detectives who deal with minor crap, or are traffic cops or something? With the focus being a lot more on the people rather than the cases. Stick in a supernatural element, preferably a lot more understated than in other shows: each of them has a supernatural secret and doesn't know their partner's secret (though it doesn't drag out for too long; eventually they find out because otherwise they just look stupid), but most of their cases are normal, mostly boring cases, and their supernatural secrets only occasionally affect their lives. Put a limit on how often they have to draw their guns, and how often the supernatural causes more than minor irritation, and stick to it.

It's the equivalent of the '60s in Urban Fantasy World. The race issues are mainly between werewolves and vampires (and humans?) rather than blacks and whites.

MC is a police detective, but they also secretly run/rule the city's supernatural community. Most of the time it works out, but now they're working hard on an important case, and having to deal with important stuff going on in the supernatural community. Are the two connected? Will she be able to deal with both at the same time? When will she ever be able to get some sleep?

A vampire in some sort of anti-addiction program.

Somebody who has the kind of powers that are basically "you must fix this problem or your life will continue to be disrupted" gets so jaded that he stops doing it because he wants to do good, stops being outraged at horrible things, etc.

Hey, you know what would be a fun crossover? Dexter/Journeyman. Several possibilities: Dexter travels through time (and let's just say he solves problems a bit differently than Dan and Olivia do). Deb travels through time, and finds out about Dexter. Dan has to help Dexter, and may or may not find out about him.

MC develops powers of a type that can't be proven (psychic visions or something, not telekinesis or anything easy to prove) and starts hiding them from everybody. Only later do they learn that their sibling has had the same power for longer, and has been hiding it all along as well.

Several centuries/millenia ago, MC was given the job of ending the world/stopping the end of the world by [date]. But she's like most of us, so she procrastinated. Now there are only days/weeks left to finish her project, and she hasn't even started to make plans.

A defense attorney uses John Amsterdam's "eccentricity" against him while he testifies against somebody he arrested.

Dexter Morgan, not a serial killer.  Nothing out of the ordinary about him.  But then one day, he comes home and finds a dismembered Barbie doll in his freezer, connects it to the Ice Truck Killer, and is all D: about it.

The GCPD amasses a large body of evidence that Bruce Wayne is Batman, enough that there's no doubt in anybody's mind.  But he's really convincing with his denial, enough so that they start to become convinced that he has DID.  Eventually he breaks and admits it all.

Patrick Jane on truth serum (or anything else that destroys his verbal inhibitions): most horrifying thing ever, or what?  Throughout the show we keep getting shown how he has a tendency towards saying things that he shouldn't, hitting where it hurts; I get the impression that he only holds off in regards to the team (as far as that goes, anyway) because a) he likes them and b) he's using them to get to Red John, but that doesn't mean he isn't gathering all sorts of information about them that would come spilling out in that kind of situation.  It would end VERY BADLY.  Or possibly everybody would be used enough to him that they could get over it.

Patrick Jane is actually psychic, but either he doesn't realize it, or the more interesting option: he's managed to convince himself that he isn't (possibly repressing knowledge of his true powers after his wife and daughter were killed because of them).  He's still using the powers, but he doesn't realize that he is, and he always has an answer about how he knows the things he knows (because he does know how to do it powerlessly), until one day...he doesn't, and he's forced to confront that knowledge.

Girl!Jane

Mentalist--I don't think I've seen a girl!Jane AU before, but it could be interesting. Might have to be more changes than usual with genderswap AUs, though, because of the clothes if nothing else.

Ooh, or an AU where the wife was the one who wasn't killed by Red John and is now working with the CBI.

The Watchers think that one of the Knights of the Cross is an Immortal because, hey, running around with a sword and all.

Saucy'verse Xander, after he sacrifices himself to close the portal, finds himself younger and with binocular vision in the Dresden'verse, but he doesn't have long to think about it because only a few seconds after he appears he hears gunfire and sees some guys in suits fending off...something.  Which he recognizes as never nice, so there's no dilemma in his mind about which side to support (hey, it's a legitimate problem--sometimes there are asshole humans doing bad stuff to good/neutral demons, and those situations don't always that way at first glance), and he swings into action, literally, considering the sword cane.
One of the men is John Marcone, who realizes pretty quickly that Xander needs wizardly assistance, where I don't know what happens other than he can't be sent back/send himself back, and has to stay in the Dresden'verse.  Something about the Laws, since Xander has to learn them and they have a different magical government (so to speak) back home.
Not sure how Xander gets along with anybody else, but he and Marcone get along like a house on fire.  Maybe he's not ecstatic about the whole mob thing, but Xander understands Marcone's position as a leader setting the rules and trying to keep his people in check, and occasionally having to do distasteful things because of it, so they hang out when Marcone's not busy, and Xander doesn't comment (morally, anyway) on Marcone's business.  If he ever meets Bob, he's reminded strongly of Anya.
Eventually he starts to come to the attention of people outside of the usual allies, because he's got skills and uses them when the situation warrants it, and he does hang around with some walking targets.

AU.  Pre-canon (I'm thinking back when Charity had her magic stage, but I don't know Harry and Charity's relative ages, so it might not work that way), Charity and Harry met and became friends and stayed that way until they lost contact.  Fast-forward to Harry being introduced as Michael's friend the wizard.  Charity has mixed feelings towards him, but she's nicer than in canon--he might be a wizard, but he's Harry.

Atlantis Five-0

Basically, Hawaii Five-0 set in Atlantis, in the Atlantis University verse, maybe.  Steve's transporting a prisoner for one of the allies (his job means he mostly works outside of Atlantis), when he gets radioed by the guy who's got his dad, and attacked, which he survives, and then he's all, "he's on Atlantis! D:" and goes back home.  It's at least a generation since Atlantis was resettled, and there are a lot more people than there were originally, so it's possible for the guy to lose himself in it.
The Stargate Program's gone public on Earth, and some Tau'ri are allowed onto Atlantis for various reasons.  Step-Stan gets a job on Atlantis, taking Rachel and Grace with him, and Danny follows even though he has to jump through all sorts of hoops to do so (the fact that he's doing it for Grace helps a lot), and very much does not assimilate.  Steve's parents moved to Atlantis when he was young, but he's not native Lantean.  Chin and Kono are.
Obviously, some things have to be changed because the culture's so different, but it could totally work.

Shawn Spencer actually does have psychic powers, and always has, but back when he was a kid Henry decided to push him into becoming a cop, with training as in canon.  Could go either way, either Shawn's aware of it all along, or Henry keeps it a secret from him and convinces him that it's just photographic memory and extensive training.  Because I've seen a couple of "Shawn gains psychic powers" fics, but I don't think I've ever read one where he's always had powers.

Fantasy; original, crossover, or timetravel.  For whatever reason, a kid who's had a very good and thorough education in the use of his/her powers (they've had them since birth, and since their parents were involved in the supernatural they had the benefit of learning how to use them along with everything else like walking and talking; by this point, they use their powers very fluidly and naturally) and an adult/older teen who's new to their powers, clumsy with them and possibly afraid, have to live/travel together.  Post-apocalypse, maybe?  Not many other ways to fling together an adult and child who don't know each other previously.  The adult has to do all the adulty things--protecting the kid, making sure they have enough food, etc.; but the kid has to teach him what he needs to know, because the situation's dangerous enough that they need to use their powers to stay safe.

 The usual Star Trek XI crew, minus Spock, were all on Tarsus IV when Kodos made with the killing, most of them kids at the time, and managed to survive under the radar, with the bridge crew emerging as the leaders because of their age and the fact that they were the ones with the ideas.  Bones is there with his wife and Joanna, but ends up in Kodos's dungeons or otherwise helpless while Jocelyn sacrificed herself to save Jo, who ended up with the kids; eventually he meets up with them, all skin and bones.  Scotty and Keenser are there, too, fresh out of SFA, and when they first meet up with the kids barely trusted at all because the kids have recently learned to distrust authority, and as Starfleet they're authority of a sort.

Most of them go by one name or nickname, especially as time goes on and the younger ones forget their last names and they get more angry at the families that didn't protect them.

A few months in, the other colonists get rescued by Starfleet, who don't realize the kids are there because they're hiding (again, the distrust thing), and it's years before anybody comes back after that--Starfleet again, with Pike.  The kids have survived and done relatively well for themselves, even studying as much or more than they would have if the school for the gifted had still been there, if a bit more unevenly; they have all of the materials, and a lot of them were always motivated to learn, much less now, when a lot of it helps them survive better.

Pike comes in, finds them, and is horrified that they were just left there and wants to get them back to their families...to which they say "hell no".  Eventually he talks them around to a compromise, terms involving at least them leaving Tarsus, and convinces them that the only way anything's going to change is if they change it themselves by finishing their educations and joining Starfleet.  Of course, he thinks they've been on Tarsus for years without education, so it'll be a while before he has to deal with them doing that, since they couldn't possibly pass the admissions tests.

Not so much.  For the next few years, they flood SFA with their admissions, making people look at them funny for only using one name, and for the most part remain together as one big clique on campus.  Well, at least they'll be broken up by their duty positions, Pike thinks.  ...We all know how that went.  They're not in charge of the Enterprise to start with, but JT hooks back up with Scotty and Keenser and takes it over; immediately, the Tarsus cadets snap to higher efficiency and awesomeness than ever before.  Spock is fascinated.

Possibly Tarsus is classified; either way, nobody knows that the kids are survivors unless they were there or have very high clearance.

ETA 04/18/2011--Girl!JT, who is at least as twice as badass as any guy, and BFFs with Uhura except when she isn't. And since Cupcake was totally on Tarsus (how do you think he got the nickname?), the bar scene is totally different. Though, if the plan is to get into Starfleet, I don't know why JT wouldn't be with the cadets. Not too hard to come up with a reason, though; maybe her record's bad enough that the recruiter is all "uh...how about no?", and of course Pike doesn't even look at her record. Hm, maybe not Pike finding them, so there can be the nasty surprise. Or he just didn't remember any of the kids' names, since he didn't know (of) any of them except JT, and didn't meet her, and they all look so different...lol, or he thought JT was a guy at Tarsus, and JT didn't tell him to call her JT in the bar so he didn't have any clue. And JT's crew love her, but Starfleet...not so much. She's got the cult of personality going, and only follows orders when she feels like it, and is a big damn hero, and swears a lot and in general doesn't project the image Starfleet wants to project. But they can't do a damn thing about it.

Bones randomly ambushes the Tarsus people to give them checkups and hyposprays, and they just go along with it because they trust him.

JT learned early on that it was less unsafe to be seen as a boy than a girl; as did the rest of the girls, but JT's better at passing than, say, Uhura. Besides, they all kept their hair short to prevent lice, anyway. JT just never grew hers back or started dressing like a girl after the rescue--she was a tomboy beforehand, anyway. She's not pretending to be male anymore, but with short hair, bone structure that passes for male although she wouldn't look bad as a girl either, a pretty flat chest, and a personality that most people take as masculine, most people don't go around asking. Mostly by accident, she ends up only having sex with people who both are bisexual and for whatever reason don't tell the rest of the Academy that she's a girl. Her first few roommates refused to remain her roommate; eventually the Academy agreed to let her room with Bones because he was the only one who would take her.

The more I think about it, the more this seems like it should end up JT/Uhura. Kicking ass together in the beginning, BFFs for the longest time afterward when they're not fighting, and finally they get together.

Methos (or other character who's not quite human/has special abilities) is captured by the NID, who do Bad Things to him because they know about his abilities.  The SGC mounts a rescue, saves him, and asks him to join them because his abilities would be useful.  But he's all "not just no, but hell no" because they might have rescued him, but they're part of the same thing.  Of course, they let him go because they're the good guys, and he disappears completely.  SG-1 keeps getting called in to investigate/to be accused of the destruction of NID bases.  There's a growing suspicion that Methos (or, well, whatever identity of his that they know of) is responsible; they find him destroying the last base.

Confronting Duncan

Duncan stopped mid-sentence, tensed, and turned to the door of the bar, alerting Joe to the presence of another Immortal. Who would it be this time? Amanda? Methos? Another of Duncan's Immortal acquaintances? Somebody who would inevitably try to kill him? Maybe the years of being so close to Immortals had jaded Joe, but it seemed like it was never good news when an Immortal Duncan didn't already know came to town, and usually when one he did know came to town, too. At least they didn't tend to see Joe as a worthwhile target. He was just Duncan's bartender, after all, not somebody who could make Duncan fight a Challenge by being threatened, not like it had been with Tessa Noel.

The Immortal who walked in through the door wasn't anybody Joe had expected. For all their faults, the Watchers actually were fairly good at keeping track of the Immortals, and as the Regional Supervisor, Joe was supposed to be notified of any Immortals coming into the area. The number of Immortals moving in and out of the region lately was not inconsiderable; Immortals always had been more mobile than mortals, and modern transportation had only increased that movement. But still, Joe was certain that this Immortal had not been one of the Immortals he had been notified about. Even if the eye patch was false--and he didn't think it was likely that an Immortal would give himself an identifying mark like that, but then again there were Immortals who made themselves more identifiable, and at least an eye patch was easily discarded--none of the Immortals who should be in the region matched his stats. Either some Watcher had forgotten to send in his report, or this Immortal didn't have a Watcher.

"Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod," Duncan introduced himself. "Why don't you sit down and have a drink?" Ah, the subtle method of ascertaining if the Immortal's intentions were peaceful.

"Duncan MacLeod?" The other Immortal asked, his voice cheerful. "Just who I'm looking for!"

"Oh?" Duncan asked, relaxing at the Immortal's tone. "Why's that?"

"You killed three of my students," the other Immortal said flatly. "Now, I know the Watchers will cover the bar if I take your Quickening in here, but it's only common courtesy to go outside for a Challenge, so if you don't mind..."

"What...?" Duncan couldn't make a full sentence, he was so stunned. Joe took over.

"You know about the Watchers?" he asked, seeing another reason the Immortal might not have one.

"It's kind of hard to miss when you're being stalked," the Immortal said. "Or, well, when other Immortals are being stalked, when you're hanging out with them, since I only picked up a Watcher a couple of times. But it's cool. A bit creepy, but since most Immortals try not to leave much of a legacy I guess it's the only way they're going to be remembered. And it's not like I can't lose a tail when I get one, just like every other Immortal with sense."

Joe had to snort at that. Even the most conservative estimates said that most of the Immortals still alive had Watchers, and hadn't even noticed them, much less lost them.

"Well, it's not like most Immortals have any sense," the Immortal said with an eye-roll. "It's all The Game this, and 'oh, my insulted honor' that, and that's not even counting all the stupid debate about what being Immortal means, and how we should act towards mortals. It's all so stupid." He looked back over at Duncan. "Is he going to stay like this all night? I mean, not that I have anything else to do, but shouldn't we get this done before your customers start to arrive?"

"I think he's still trying to figure out who he killed that would make you want to kill him."

"He kills that many people?"

"Mostly he only kills bad guys."

"Bad guys? What the hell does that mean? Just cause a guy's done some bad things in his life, doesn't mean he should be killed!"

"Mostly, they try to kill him or somebody else first."

"Whatever happened to trapping people in a well until they've learned their lesson, huh? Why isn't that good enough for the kids these days?"

Joe gave him a strange look. "That's how it's been as long as the Watchers have been keeping records. And what about you? Didn't you just Challenge him?"

"That's different. You don't mess around when it's family, you send a very clear lesson to anybody else who might be thinking along the same lines. But you didn't say anything about *his* student getting killed, so he's got no excuse for killing *mine*."

"Look, I don't know who your students were, but they probably attacked him first."

He opened his mouth to reply, but at that instant Duncan stiffened again at another Immortal's presence. The other Immortal was smooth about it, though; if Joe hadn't had Duncan to watch, he never would have realized that another Immortal was approaching until the door swung open to reveal Methos.

Methos froze as soon as he saw the other immortal, and Joe groaned mentally. If those two had a history...he didn't want to have to write the termination report for Methos. But although Methos looked dismayed, he didn't look alarmed. "Beer," he said to Joe.

"He's mine, Adam," the other Immortal said. "They might have been your brothers, but they were my students."

"I killed Silas," Methos said quietly. Joe had to hold himself back from interfering. If the Immortal was so willing to kill Duncan, he wouldn't be any less willing to kill Methos. But it wasn't his place to interfere. And besides, Methos was still...not relaxed, exactly, his shoulders were tight with tension, but unafraid. It made no sense; Joe had to be missing something, and not just the fact that this Immortal had apparently trained the other three Horsemen.

"Oh, Adam," the Immortal said, sympathy in his voice, completely different from his reaction to Duncan. "Why?"

"Kronos and Caspian...they were rabid dogs, unwilling and unable to change their ways even after so long, and you know Silas always went along with them..."

"They hadn't changed?"

"Upgraded their methods, but they had the same goals in mind, and I don't think even you could have changed their minds."

The Immortal smiled sadly. "You did good." He turned to Duncan. "I release you from my Challenge. If Adam says it was necessary, it was necessary."

"Stick around?" Methos asked. "I'm sure Joe's full of questions, and you can always ignore MacLeod when he gets preachy."

"Sure, I've got some time on my hands now that I don't have to spend it recovering from a Quickening."

After Replacing SG-1, mini!Jack returns to the SGC.  Everything has changed.  Basically, things are shitty.  People aren't there because they want to be there, they're only there because they believe in the mission.  And the Legends going on halfway creep him out because even though they're true, the *way* they're said...People are smart enough to realize who he is, although they don't say anything out loud, and he keeps getting these tiny presents--stuff slipped into his locker, the last piece of pie, whatever.

As a prank, an Immortal's friends (who don't know about Immortality) stick him in a morgue while he's passed out, then panic when he disappears rather than coming after them swearing revenge.