Homeworld Security Share-a-thon

"Homeworld Security Share-a-thon"- named, of course, by Jack. The heads of the various subdepartments in the DHWS meet because the new subdepartment needs to be introduced. Jack-style quick intros and status reports since everybody but the new guys are used to him- "The Initiative, demons and vampires." "How's that going?" "Good, just stopped an apocalypse." "Stargate Command, Aliens", etc. New guys have a presentation and etc., expecting to have to convince people and justify actions and whatnot; Jack tells them to make it fast so they can have pie. They go out to pie together. New guy is completely baffled.